Meditation...do I need it?

This blog is a little different as I rarely speak specifically about happenings in my life. I would like to discuss the way meditation in my daily experience started as a burdened thought turned to a loved sunrise morning ritual. I have studied the Ageless Wisdom and esoteric thought for over 12 years now picking up my first teaching at the age of about 25. Which is the best time for a neophyte to begin as circumstances and maturity causes one to question their existence and where's life taking them.   Through the many varying books I devoured the resounding theme throughout my entire personal library was and is the need for meditation. My personal resistance to meditation, like many others, would not allow me to consider a state of being where my mind would be forced to sit in silence void of thought for any period of time nonetheless 30 to 45 minutes, daily.



Like any lifestyle change their is the initial resistance, then comes the enthusiasm followed by the fizzling out. If my dedication to a life of modern day purity was to be taken seriously I would need to figure this dilemma out and stop the allowance of years to fade into the distance without an ounce of will placed towards my ultimate goal. How long was I willing to allow this resistance to plague me? Now for others it may not be so serious, but for me I had taken a personal oath to dedicate my life to the divine as long as I was not going to loose all of me and become some spiritual fanatic, on the corners of the city preaching the end of days. OK so that's not everyone's fear but it was mine, I just didn't want to loose who I was finding myself living in a cave or far from human lifestyle while delivering myself to the path towards enlightenment.

I knew I needed something deeper, I had been studying but was noticing very little changes I was still suffering, still angry, frustrated, judgmental all the qualities I did not like about myself. That is when I realized that the studying needed to be accompanied by accountability. Indeed something or some one or some group or organization was to hold me accountable. Luckily intuitively I was drawn to an online Trans-Himalayan meditation school that was perfect for my lifestyle and designed to teach meditation practices daily over a two year period of time. Closing up on my last year has been a daily focus of connecting to my Higher Mind through unobtrusive practices starting at  mere 5 minutes a day. I threw in some prayers that would help me through my tribulations culminating into a meditation schedule now of 45 minutes a day of NEEDED mental quietude. Without these practices I would have remained in a frustrated mental and emotional state with melancholy and unstable behaviors.

That said, meditation and concentration have been a proven tool for my first steps at change and a reorientation towards a path of purity and enlightenment.

Loving and Learning,

                                 Me